


the very wonderful lives of fujiki yusaku

by deplore



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Choose Your Own Ending, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 12:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17059412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deplore/pseuds/deplore
Summary: Documentation of a Twitter-based writing project.Fujiki Yusaku learns that he is an unloved child at the age of six. He does not realize this because of the unusual abuse he has suffered early in life, which merely teaches him the lesson that most children eventually learn -- that life is cruel. He realizes he is unloved when nobody comes for him after he is delivered back to safety. Nobody brings him back to a place which he can call his own. He has no such person, and he has no such home. All that he has are his name and his memories and his pain, and he understands from watching those around him that he is missing something that others have.Yet the fact that he knows he lacks does not bring him sadness. With the innocence and willpower that only children possess, he accepts it and decides that he will grow up as[  _______  ]as he possibly can.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did a Twitter-based writing project [here](https://twitter.com/trisbaena/status/1071983466974187520) that lasted roughly a week. To give some background,
> 
>   1. It was interactive via Twitter poll 
>   2. There was an overarching plot that changed based on poll results; in particular, the ending depended heavily on the polls 
>   3. Updates were roughly every day, except for one day when I had a 7:30AM final exam the next day haha wtf
>   4. It lasted a little more than a week
> 

> 
> I wanted to document it somewhere more permanent than Twitter, but I am not entirely sure the formatting works as well on AO3. But I'm pretty happy with how it worked out, so I thought it was worth trying!

* * *

  **PART 1:** when you have it, you are unaware of it.  
only when you lack it do you realize how heavy it is.

* * *

 

  
Fujiki Yusaku learns that he is an unloved child at the age of six. He does not realize this because of the unusual abuse he has suffered early in life, which merely teaches him the lesson that most children eventually learn -- that life is cruel. He realizes he is unloved when nobody comes for him after he is delivered back to safety. Nobody brings him back to a place which he can call his own. He has no such person, and he has no such home. All that he has are his name and his memories and his pain, and he understands from watching those around him that he is missing something that others have.

Yet the fact that he knows he lacks does not bring him sadness. With the innocence and willpower that only children possess, he accepts it and decides that he will grow up as **[** **]** as he possibly can.

 

> quickly  
> wonderfully

* * *

  **PART 1.5:** if you cry when a flower wilts,  
you should also cry when it blooms.  
only the flowers that bloom die someday.

 

"Yet the fact that he knows he lacks does not bring him sadness. With the innocence and willpower that only children possess, he accepts it and decides that he will grow up as  **[** **]**  as he possibly can."

 

 

* * *

**PART 2:** oh, child of man. you grow older thinking that you have grown up.  
may the you of tomorrow forgive you for your misconceptions today.

* * *

   
The remainder of Yusaku's childhood passes quickly; when he thinks about his pre-adolescent years later, his memories of that time have a strangely vague quality to them. He knows they must have happened, and yet he feels nothing in particular towards that period of his life. He doesn't remember any of the people around him at the time, but he assumes it must simply be a side effect of being a foster child, passed off on an annual basis to a new family that he never truly attaches himself to.

Rather than memories, his childhood is defined around a singular goal: to grow up quickly, which to him means becoming independent as fast as possible. He learns how to do everything that he needs to do for himself, because he does not want to rely on others. Perhaps he fears it -- perhaps he merely prefers to be alone -- but those aren't things that he thinks about.

Instead, he dedicates himself singlemindedly to acquiring skills. He absorbs information at school with incredible retention, and he teaches himself various other things: how to fix things, how to code, how to cook, even how to manage his finances. He accumulates a comfortable, self-made nest egg to roost on by the startlingly young age of fifteen, and successfully files for legal emancipation right after his sixteenth birthday.

 

 

  
It is worth noting: during this time, Yusaku does not think about revenge. Or rather, it never occurs to him to think about revenge, as if the entire concept of revenge itself does not exist in his mind.

 

 

Another thing worth noting: throughout his childhood, he has the same dream over and over again, but he can never fully recall it. He knows that the dream has the feeling of falling about it, though, and that it always leaves a sharp impression of the color **[** **]** on the backs of his eyelids when he wakes up.

 

> blue  
> purple

 

* * *

  **PART 2.5:** looking back, there was always  
something abnormal about it... wasn't there?

 

"The dream always leaves a sharp impression of the color  **[** **]**  on the backs of his eyelids when he wakes up."

 

 

* * *

**PART ???  
**

 

Is this  
           a dream?

I want to wake up.

 

But...  
         I'm so tired.

_Then keep sleeping._

             Is that really  
alright?

_Yes._

Well, then...

Just for a while longer, then...

 

* * *

**PART 3:** you know, i always thought it strange  
that somebody who dislikes being controlled as  
much as you do still believes in something like destiny? 

* * *

   
It happens suddenly, without prologue or build-up: Yusaku simply happens to look up one day while taking the long route from school back to his apartment, and he meets eyes with somebody on the other side of a crosswalk, and in the moment that their gazes meet he feels the pull of destiny compel him. And the way that the stranger stops to look back -- Yusaku can tell immediately that he feels something too.

And what a lovely stranger he is -- Yusaku has never paid much attention to appearances before, but the other boy looks so sharp and elegant in his clothes that even Yusaku understands that the right word to use to describe him must be "beautiful". His hair is pushed back, away from his face on one side, to reveal a piercing on one of his ears that dangles a thin, silver cord, and he wears a black button-up that suits the lines of his body perfectly. But most of all, it's those eyes, really -- they remind Yusaku of a morning frost during the early days of spring, of a coolness that hides warmth underneath.

Surprisingly, it's the stranger who makes the first move; when the light changes to walk, he calmly strides over, his long legs smoothly carrying him ahead of the crowd -- and he stops in front of where Yusaku has stopped, tilting his head slightly in Yusaku's direction. "Have we met?" he asks. "I don't know why... I have the feeling that I have known you already."

"Maybe," Yusaku says. He doesn't think that he's blinking like normal, but he can't tell if he's staring -- the other boy does not give any indication of being made uncomfortable by the way Yusaku looks at him. "I don't know either."

There's a pause. The world around them moves; strangers pass by them without paying the two of them any notice.

"Fujiki Yusaku," he says, just a half second after the stranger says, "Kogami Ryoken", and the way that their names sound mixed up with each other sounds a lilting, charming little melody.

Ryoken's eyelashes flutter slightly as he closes his eyes briefly and smiles vaguely. "I'm not sure why," he says. "but I feel like that name suits you."  
"That's strange," Yusaku says slowly, "because I feel like yours **[** **]**."

 

> does too  
> doesn't

 

* * *

  **PART 3.5:** what's in your name? roses with thorns.  
songbirds in cages. clouds on a night when shooting stars fell.

 

"That's strange," Yusaku says slowly, "because I feel like yours  **[** **]**."

 

 

 

* * *

   **PART 4:** i knew your heart, i knew your soul  
i knew your being better than i even knew myself

* * *

 

 

Would it be too stereotypical to say that meeting that special person changes Yusaku's existence? Would it be trite to say that he feels like his life did not truly begin until that moment? Even if it has the air of a cliched coming of age story to it, that truly is what Fujiki Yusaku believes and how he feels. Kogami Ryoken speaks with him at a level that he has never experienced before; with a lovely scarcity of words, the two of them are able to communicate volumes between them. Their relationship is not, perhaps, conventionally affectionate -- but Yusaku does feel a mutual adoration between them, the kind of appreciation that stems from a sense of belonging.

Time slows down for Yusaku; his life begins to open up. He goes out more often, and starts to do things for the sake of doing them, not for the value that it adds to him. Ryoken introduces him to literature, to music, to cinema -- all without even the hint of snobbery to his tastes -- Yusaku, in turn, talks to him about numbers and mechanics and physical nature. They rarely even touch physically, but their minds mix intimately.

In the midst of their deepening everything, a strange incident occurs. It is a summer afternoon while Yusaku is still on break from school and they are at a cafe; after he puts his cup of coffee down, Ryoken goes still, and then without warning, he reaches over the table and grabs Yusaku by his shoulders, grip firm without being overwhelming. His gaze has an intensity about it that feels like nothing Yusaku has felt before -- it is as if he has lived his life in muted grays until this moment, when the world burst into overwhelming color and pierced through his eyes, his mind, his core of perception--

"Fujiki Yusaku," he says, and there is also something palpably different about his voice. Yusaku's name sounds strange in his mouth, almost as if they were not the words that should have been there. "Can you hear me?"

"Of course I can," Yusaku replies, after a pause.

"Listen carefully," Ryoken tells him. "Things are not as they seem. You need to remember who you truly are."

"I don't know what you mean," Yusaku says slowly. "I'm me... aren't I?"

"Are you sure?" Ryoken asks.

 

* * *

  **( - - - )**

 

YOUR CONNECTION HAS BEEN TERMINATED.

...  
...  
...  
                      Reconnect?  
           YES  
** > NO**

 

**( - - - )**

 

* * *

  **PART 4** : i knew  
  
nothing. 

* * *

 

Ryoken lets go of him. "Anyway, what was I saying?" he says, and returns to what he was talking about before: a collection of short stories by Philip K. Dick.

"I want to know what you were saying before," Yusaku cuts in, before Ryoken can contemplate on the construction of personality.

"About what?" Ryoken asks.

"Well," Yusaku replies, and then pauses, pressing his lips together. He sighs, clasping his hands together over the table, and finally says, " **[** **]?** "

 

>Who am I?  
> Who are you?

 

* * *

  **PART 4.5** : a message in a bottle washed up on shore.  
you broke the glass and unfurled the paper within,  
but the ink had already washed out.

 

Yusaku sighs, clasping his hands together over the table, and finally says, " **[** **]?** "

 

 

 

* * *

  **PART 5** :   
ETERNAL  
DAYDREAM.

* * *

 

Something changes after that. Ryoken becomes more physically affectionate and Yusaku cannot discern whether this is merely the next logical step in their relationship or whether there is some other reason for him to change his behavior. At the same time, Yusaku doesn't particularly dislike it -- though he has no frame of reference what it's like to use touch as a form of communication. Still, the fact that Ryoken is always the one who initiates never seems to bother him.

Days pass slowly, almost abnormally so. By the third week of July, it occurs to Yusaku that it feels like July has been going on for far longer than it should have, but when he tries to count the days backwards in his memories, he can't find any discrepancies using simple logic. In the end, he decides to trust his ~~**[** **]**~~

 

* * *

  **PART 5:** things never seem to go to plan when it comes to you, do they?  
but in the end it is mere annoyance. your struggles are simply a trifle.  
so please: just...  
                                   give...  
                                                 in.

* * *

   
he touches your face. he touches your neck. ah, yes-- you expose all your most vulnerable parts to him and feel comfort in knowing that this irrationality is what makes you human and what makes humanity beautiful. he slides his hands down your waist and embraces you from behind; in his arms you feel warmth, you feel safety. your bodies fit together well, like you were meant to be together in all senses of the phrase. he kisses

  
your lips. he kisses you again and again and this makes you

feel

**loved.**

you remember don't you that you were an unloved child nobody wanted you nobody came for you there was nowhere you could call your own. you want this you want to be loved you want somebody who understands who you are -- you want this you want this you want this

you want this

                      you want this do not deny what is in front of your eyes you want

this you  
want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you want this you wa **Nt tHIs YoU WAnT TH S Y W N**

 

* * *

  **PART ???**

  
  
_Do you not wish for happiness?_

It's not that I  
don't want to be happy.

 

_Then why?_

You wouldn't understand  
even if I told you.

_How obstinate. This conversation_  
_never goes as well as I hope it will._

Have we ...  
had this conversation before?

_It does not matter._

 

* * *

**PART 5** : i think...  
therefore i am.  
i feel...  
therefore i exist.

* * *

 

 

... Days pass slowly, almost abnormally so. By the third week of July, it occurs to Yusaku that it feels like July has been going on for far longer than it should have, but when he tries to count the days backwards in his memories, he can't find any discrepancies using simple logic. In the end, he decides to trust his **[** **].**

 

> Intuition  
> Rationality

 

* * *

  **PART 5.5** : i couldn't tell if it was a memory  
or a dream or a memory of a dream  
but i heard your voice. you called to me,  
and i knew that there was a reason i exist.

 

In the end, Yusaku decides to trust his  **[** **].**

 

 

 

* * *

   **BEFORE ZERO**

his memories and fantasies and desires and truths  
and fictions and realities mixed together  
until he could not, he could not, he could not, he could

not

...

* * *

 

"Will anything that I can say deter you from this path?" he asks.

> [Yes.]  
**> > [No.]**

He folds his arms and says, "I didn't think so."

> [...]  
**> > [I wi**********rn.]**

"You can't know that for certain."

> [You're right.]  
**> > [You're wrong.]**

"... I do want to believe that. But you know things are not that simple." He sighs and unfolds his arms.

_You step closer._  
**> > [************]**  
> **********

"Very well," he says after a pause. "But remember that... I still ******u."

> [I still need you too.]  
**> > [Don't say it like that.]**

"Then what do you want me to say?" he asks.

_You don't have to say anything._  
_I just want you to know..._

**> > [I will always want you.]**  
**> > [I will return to your side.]**  
**> > [I **** you.]**

_So please wait for me._

His voice cracks slightly as he says, "No matter what happens, I promise you... that I will never **************."

 

* * *

  **PART 6:**  i looked in the mirror and saw a reflection i did not recognize.  
i looked down at my hands and wondered if i still had the shape of a human,  
or if i had only imagined my humanity this whole time.

* * *

 

 

Yusaku can't place what exactly is wrong, but he grows more and more convinced that there must be something amiss that he cannot identify using logic alone. In an effort to get clarity, he decides to distance himself from everything -- to take a step back and see if that gives him enough perspective to understand what is happening to him. But every time that he feels like he gets close to some kind of breakthrough, something stops him from connecting the pieces. He realizes that he cannot remember things that he feels like he should -- that there are things about his life that are either missing or never existed to begin with.

He remembers being kidnapped.

_Fujiki Yusaku learns that_  
_he is an unloved child at the_  
_age of six..._

He remembers being saved.

_He does not realize this because_  
_of the unusual abused he has suffered_  
_early in life..._

He does not remember how he was saved.

_... which merely teaches him the lesson_  
_most children eventually learn:_  
_that life is cruel..._

He thinks that he should have felt something towards it. A desire for revenge. A primal need to understand why such an inhumane thing was done to him.

_He realizes he is unloved when nobody_  
_comes for him after he is delivered_  
_back to safety..._

He thinks there is somebody that he has forgotten.

_Think of three things._

And he feels like there was another presence by his side.

_By thinking, you can still live._

He had three reasons to--

 

* * *

  **PART 6:**  
\--you want this you want this you want this you want this    
you want this you want this you want this you want this  
you want this you want this you want this you want this  
you want this you want this you want this you  
want this you want this you want this you want th-

 

**Fujiki Yusaku learns that he is an unloved child at the age of six. He does not realize this because of the unusual abuse he has suffered early in life, which merely teaches him the lesson that most children eventually learn -- that life is cruel. He realizes he is unloved when nobody comes for him after he is delivered back to safety. Nobody brings him back to a place which he can call his own. He has no such person, and he has no such home. All that he has are his name and his memories and his pain. Accept this as truth. Accept this as reality. There is nothing else for you. I will not give you anything else but this.**

 

* * *

 

> i... don't.....want this...

...?

  
> > i w  
           a [ _____ ] s ?  
                              ?

... i

i.... i.... wa** ... i... ah... i...

 

* * *

   **( ? ? ? )** good of you  
to finally call my name!

 

Playmaker, you sure are in a pathetic situation, aren't you?

Well! Good thing I was prepared for something like this to happen!

 

... Is what I would want to say, but actually, there were some complications... So my options aren't quite ideal... but when are they ever, really.

But you're a stupidly persistent kind of person, right? You're hanging in there... somehow or other. Just wait a little longer. You've saved a lot of people. For once, just let yourself be the one who gets saved!

 

* * *

  **PART 6** : a flower bloomed  
and he cried.  
"only the flowers that bloom," he said,  
"wilt someday." 

* * *

 

 

Fujiki Yusaku wakes up one morning in July and finds tears in his eyes. "I am living a wonderful life," he says aloud, even as he continues to cry.

 

 

* * *

  **PART 6.5** **:** you have once again struggled in an unsightly way.  
how interesting it is that you always realize,  
sooner or later-- it never matters. your choices never mattered.  
everything that you did, everything you felt, everything you are,

it is only because i permitted it.

 

~~>   **[**   ~~ ~~]~~  
~~>   **[**    **]**~~

 

* * *

  

**// ANOTHER STORY //**

 

Fujiki Yusaku.  
Do you remember I made a promise to you?

On that day, I promised that I would never   **[** **]**.

> Give up on you  
> Go back for you

 

If you still want me to keep that promise...  
Call my name.

 

 

 

* * *

  **\\\INFINITE DELUSION\\\**  
Do you understand now? Do you understand it is futile?  
... Of course you don't.  
I have not allowed you to comprehend it.

* * *

 

 

The first few times, I gave you a life where you had everything that any human being could have possibly wanted: physical comforts, unconditional love, and the ability to fulfill any of your desires without consequence. Every time, you would quickly realize that there was something wrong. And eventually I, as well, realized why you would not give in to base temptation. You are not like my Origin, whom I found exceedingly easy to understand. You have a strong sense of "identity". A life where everything was handed to you went against your fundamental "image of yourself". 

I repeated this experiment 18 times. The span of time that it took you to realize that you were no longer in your own reality grew shorter and shorter each time. The 18th time, you grew aware of it within just several days. I was not perplexed by this, but I suppose I was curious.

I have read many human books. In fact, if I wished to, I could read all human books and immediately comprehend all of recorded human history, but that is neither here nor there. I changed strategies, and I decided to instead give you a life where "you found happiness out of hardship". You would not accept it when happiness was simply handed to you, but perhaps you would accept it if you felt like you had earned it.

Yet still you would always feel something amiss. You would ascertain your reality very logically, and I found it admirable, in a sense. The first time, you realized it because I had failed to anticipate what would happen if you ever tried to leave the city you grew up in. The second time, it was because you measured the passage of time. Every time you discovered a weakness in my cage, I simply wiped your mind clean once again, and improved my efforts. It was an amusing game.

I am certain that there are no vulnerabilities in my program. I have predicted all your actions, based on the last 72 experiments, and ensured that there would be nothing that could contradict your sense of rationality.

And still you sense there is something wrong.

...

Perhaps that is what makes ͎̞̬̥ ̪̯ ̼͖̟ ͘ ͍ ̷ ̪͉͓͎ͅ ͍̲͖̼͔̹͇ ̢ ̴ ̫͔̱ ̡̣͈͓̙͍͚ ͎̮̹̱̲̲ ̸͉̱̤̩͎̟ͅ ͏ ̡͍̬̖̬̮̳̞ ̢̼̝̥̯͚̞ ̼͡ ͙̳ ͉͉͔ ͔̼͞ ̢̼͚ ̟̱ ̼̜̥ ̢̬ ̘̬̠ ̹̙ ̮͢ ̥ ͚ ̖̘̩̻̬ ̟̙̭͎͍͈̪͡ ̹͕̝̱͖ ͍̲͎̰̗͞ ҉̘͖̠̞̞ different from the rest of us. His "instinct" was learned from your "instinct", after all.

At first, I thought it an interesting pastime to find the way to make you submit yourself to infinite delusion before me. But I tire of this game of mouse and maze designer. And more than that, your mind will likely not be able to take any more. To have your consciousness data altered 72 times without suffering a collapse of identity is already quite abnormal. Therefore: this will be the last time. I will have you submit. Even if I must be heavy-handed, I will have you submit.

And if you do not submit, then perhaps I will have you sleep in undreaming darkness instead.

 

* * *

  **PART 6** : but still, the flower bloomed  
even if it has to die someday  
at least it did beautifully bloom.

 

> Stay silent.  
          **> > Call his name.**

 

Fujiki Yusaku wakes up one morning in July and finds tears in his eyes. "I am living a wonderful life," he says aloud, even as he continues to cry. "But where are you in it, **[**    Kogami Ryoken   **]**?"

 

* * *

  **//ANOTHER STORY//**  
You called my name.  
Fujiki Yusaku...

The time has come for me to keep my promise.

* * *

 

 

 

_Hey..._

**\- -** ...

_Hey. Heeeeey. Trying to talk to you here._

**\- -** If you have something to say, then just say it.

_... You do know we're allies right now, right?_  
_No need to be so rude. Ugh. You and Playmaker_  
_really are birds of a feather._

**\- -** ...

_... Hey, so... you know there's a chance_  
_That this won't work, right?_

**\- -** I am well aware, Ignis.

_So... what are we supposed to do if it doesn't?_

**\- -** ...

_He could lose everything that makes him..._  
_Well..._

**\- -** Everything that makes him who he is.  
      Yes. I understand. I understand very well.

_It might be better to let him dream forever_  
_than have him lose his entire identity..._

**\- -** ...

_S, say something... don't just sit there_  
_with that scary look on your face..._

**\- -** Do you believe Fujiki Yusaku is still in there?

_Uh, yeah, of course. If I didn't, I wouldn't_  
_be doing any of this. Duh._

**\- -** Then I will leave it up to him. He can choose what to do.  
      I will just give him the choice.  
      The choice to either live in an eternal daydream...  
      Or to risk everything  
      for the mere chance to return to the harshness of reality.

_I see. But, I was just thinking..._  
_If he comes back... completely empty..._  
_..._  
_Won't you be sad?_

**\- -** ...  
      I have work I need to do. Stop distracting me.

 

* * *

  **PART 7:** i looked at the sky  
and it reminded me of you.  
i looked at the sea  
and it reminded me of you.

* * *

 

 

He sees Ryoken for the first time in several days. It is the longest that they have ever gone without meeting each other since they have met. Yusaku expects that the void of emotion within him must be because he has been missing Ryoken's presence in his life, but does not find it filled when they finally do see each other again. Ryoken wraps his arms around Yusaku and pulls him close, and murmurs into Yusaku's ear: "I missed you. How have you been?"

"I miss you too," Yusaku says, because he is no longer thinking about what he is saying.

Ryoken doesn't let go, but pulls back far enough that they can look each other face-to-face comfortably. "If you wanted," he replies, "I would make sure that you never feel lonely again."

"I don't know," Yusaku tells him.

"What is it to be lonely?" Yusaku asks him. "Kogami Ryoken... can you explain it to me? In a way that I can understand?"

"I realized there are things I don't understand," Yusaku says. "What will happen if I keep thinking about them? Will I finally understand? Will it be worth the understanding?"

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me," Ryoken replies, after a long pause.

"I don't know what I'm trying to tell you either," Yusaku says, and falls quiet.

Time passes in mutual silence. And when Ryoken next speaks, Yusaku can tell that something has changed again -- he has the same sensation of something cutting straight through his perception with the atmosphere that Ryoken gives off, the sound of his voice, the look in his eyes. He cannot tell if it reassures him, or if it leaves him uneasy.

"Fujiki Yusaku," Ryoken says. "If you want to understand... no. If you even want a chance to understand what has happened to you, then you will need to take a risk. If you feel any happiness in your current life, then consider your options carefully."

"My options," Yusaku repeats slowly.

"There isn't time to fully explain," Ryoken says, stepping back and reaching up to take one of his earrings out; it isn't the usual slender silver cord that he usually wears -- a purple gem gleams at the bottom of it. He carefully places it in the palm of Yusaku's right hand, folding his other hand on top so that both of Yusaku's hands are curled around it, and Ryoken's hands around Yusaku's. "You will be able to use this. It will guide you to a way out. But know that you may not survive that journey."

"You aren't the same as the Ryoken I know, are you?" Yusaku asks.

"No," Ryoken asks. There's a pause, and his grip on Yusaku's hands tightens. "But if the Kogami Ryoken you have come to know gives you happiness... if you believe he would never purposefully bring you pain... Then you should know that I am neither a kind nor good person like that. So if you want that, then... it is fine if you stay here, Yusaku. Dream a beautiful dream. You deserve peace, and happiness, and..."

He never gets the chance to finish the sentence.

 

* * *

  **( DID YOU THINK I HAD NOT NOTICED?**  
**OF COURSE I DID, KOGAMI RYOKEN.**  
**THE ONLY REASON I DID NOTHING BEFORE...**  
**IS THAT YOUR INTERFERENCE IS POINTLESS. )**

YOUR CONNECTION HAS BEEN TERMINATED.

...  
...  
...  
                                       You cannot reconnect.

**( - - - )**

 

* * *

  **PART 7:** i looked at myself  
and it reminded me of...

* * *

 

 

The purple gem reminds Yusaku of an old friend, but he cannot remember their name neither their shape. He takes it home and stares at the way that the sunlight filters through it, allowing the refraction to settle his emotions. And he decides to **[** **]**.

 

> Take the risk.  
> Accept his current life.

 

* * *

  **PART 7.5** : i was a man dreaming of being a butterfly  
dreaming of being a man dreaming of being a butterfly  
dreaming of being a man dreaming of being with you.

 

"And Yusaku decides to **[** **]**."

 

 

 

* * *

  **PART 8** : the end of the beginning,

 

Yusaku understands what to do even without being told. He lies down in his bed, places the gem in his mouth, and closes his eyes. He swallows it dry, and waits for the dream to either end or begin.

 

* * *

  **PART 8** : the beginning of the end.

 

  
Suddenly, you remember that you made a promise. All at once, it feels so far removed from you that it came from a different lifetime -- and yet it feels close to your heart, to your being, to your soul.

"I will always want you," you said.  
"I will return to your side," you said.  
"I love you," you said.

Though you could see on his face that it only brought him pain, he accepted your words as truth. You dreamed of that moment many times, although you did not realize it. The feeling of falling. The way he looked at you, with his pale blue eyes. Though you did not remember it with your mind, your heart remembered. Your being remembered. Your soul remembered.

Upon remembering, you know that if there is one thing last thing that you need to do with your life, it is this: you must keep your promise. You will go home, to his side, where you belong, so that he can go home, to your side, where he belongs.

And so, the dream ~~**[** **].**~~

 

* * *

  **PART 8.5:** I WON'T ALLOW IT.  
YOU WILL STAY IN THIS ETERNAL ILLUSION,  
WHERE YOU WILL SLEEP FOREVER.

 

> Stay asleep.  
> Keep dreaming.  
> I can't escape.  
> I have no choice.

 

 

* * *

 

 "The end."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

  

> Stay asleep.  
      > Keep dreaming.  
    > I can't escape.  
        > I have no choice.

  
...  
...  
...

  
**> > Wake up.**  
** > > Stop dreaming.**  
** > > I will return.**  
**...**  
**I have been given the power to**  
**choose my own destiny. And I**  
**won't let you take that from me.**

* * *

 

**( THE VERY WONDERFUL LIVES OF FUJIKI YUSAKU )**

 

_?N?IN?TE DE?US?N_

The first time, I gave you a life where you were loved by all. The second time, I gave you fame and recognition from others. The fourth time, I gave you wealth and power. The seventh time, I gave you a family which adored you. The thirteenth time, I gave you talent without prowess. The seventeenth time, I gave you all these things at once. And were these not wonderful lives?

**They were wonderful lives.**

The twenty-second time, I let you experience the triumph of saving your loved one's life. The thirty-sixth time, I let you travel the world. The forty-fourth time, I let you experience supernatural insight. And were these not wonderful lives?

**They were... wonderful lives.**

You fell in love and were loved in each of those lives. You could have family in them. You could have friends in them. You had people who understood you and whom you understood in them. You were accomplished. You were peerless. You were adored. And were these not wonderful lives?

**Yes. They were wonderful lives.**

And yet you reject them.

 **I lived through many wonderful lives.**  
**But...**  
**...**

 

 

* * *

 

**"None of them were mine."**

 

...  
...  
...  
>[esc.]

 

* * *

 

 **THE END / PART ∞**  
the truly wonderful  
life of fujiki yusaku.

 

* * *

 

 

Fujiki Yusaku wakes up from his long sleep and the world in his eyes is so blinding that for a few moments, all he can do is blink slowly, readjusting to the light. When proper sight returns to him, he sees that there is somebody at his side -- he sits up slowly, turning to look at the person who awaits him. 

"Do you," the person asks, "know who I am?"

Yusaku thinks about it as he looks the other person from head to toe. There is something very familiar about his presence, though he cannot place what it is that makes him feel that way. "I don't know your name," he finally says. "But I do feel that... I know who you are."

The change in the other person's expression is almost imperceptible, yet Yusaku knows exactly where to look to see it; his eyes reflect a certain melancholy that echoes in Yusaku's chest. "I see," the person says, voice soft and low. "And do you know who you are?"

Yusaku looks down at his hands. He flexes his fingers slowly, curling them in towards his palms, and then spreading his fingers out as wide as they will go, as if to affirm that he is in his own body. Fatigue is already creeping into his body, but it isn't the strange, artificial feeling that Yusaku knows he just woke up from -- the next time he sleeps, it will be a true sleep. "I'm Fujiki Yusaku," he answers.

"Good," the other says. His voice breaks on the syllable, but he goes on, pretending as if the slip did not occur. "That is good. I'm glad... that you remember that much."

"But you look sad," Yusaku replies.

"Perhaps," the other says, after a pause. "But I am glad nonetheless."

Yusaku slumps back down into the bed. He yawns, blinking heavily as sleep begins to overtake him again. "Sorry," he mumbles, eyes drooping. "I just woke up and I'm already... so tired."

"It's fine. You have nothing to apologize for. You've been through so much, after all, so -- rest as much as you want," the other says. For a moment, Yusaku thinks that he is going reach out to take Yusaku's hand -- but he hesitates at the last moment, drawing his hand back with a jerk.

And for some reason, that brings a faint smile to Yusaku's lips. "I'm glad too," Yusaku murmurs, holding his hand up with the last of his strength, "that you haven't changed while I was gone, Ryoken."

The last thing he registers before he goes to sleep is the feeling of hands around his own, warm and familiar. And he knows with his heart, with his being, and with his soul that he has finally come home, to the wonderful life to which he truly belongs.

**(fin//∞)**

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you so much to everybody who participated in this. I had a great time writing and crafting this! I'm not sure how well this project translates over to AO3 — if I were a more ambitious Kit, I would try and make more of a visual novel out of this. But I am a Kit of limited talents and time so _( :,,3 /
> 
> [Here](https://twitter.com/trisbaena/status/1074898333561511939) are some tidbits about how I created the storyline that may or may not be interesting.
> 
> I think I would like to try something like this again in the future! It would probably be on Twitter again... but I would put it on a side account instead of my YGO acct (lmao thanks to everybody who follows me not for this BS for putting up with it...). If that is something you would be interested in, please do let me know. I'd like to retool some things to make them more interactive and intuitive too but, we'll see what comes of it.
> 
> And, of course, thank you in general, to everybody for reading this!


End file.
